Why Parents Shouldn’t Ignore Their Kids’ Behavioral Issues

When children struggle with their behaviour, it can have a negative impact on everyone in the family. Parents know they need to respond, but they often aren’t sure what’s the best strategy, especially if a child is frequently acting out and nothing seems to work. Parents who are concerned about their kids’ behavioural problems may not bring them up with their child’s doctor, but they should consider doing so, researchers say. In a survey of nearly 1,300 parents of children ages 5 to 17, researchers found that only half of the parents said they would tell the doctor about temper tantrums that seemed worse than the child’s peers, or if the child appeared to be more worried or anxious than usual. Only 37 per cent of the parents said they would tell the doctor if their child had trouble getting organized to do their homework.

This guide offers parents a comprehensive look at problem behaviour. It covers various topics, including what may be triggering problem behaviour, how to improve the parent-child relationship when it becomes strained, what to do if kids are struggling with behaviour in school and how to get professional help if you need it.

​

Interruption

In your child’s mind, the thing they need to tell you is the most important thing in the world—they don’t realize that other people might have needs that are as important as theirs. So, even if you’ve told your little one over and over that they are supposed to wait until a natural pause in the conversation and politely say, “Excuse me,” they might not always remember that at the moment. To work on discouraging interruptions, create signals that your child will recognize. If, for example, you put your hand on their shoulder, it can indicate that you realize that they need you and that you’ll be with them soon.

During this learning period, you should have reasonable goals for your child’s age. Don’t expect a three- or four-year-old to be able to wait more than a couple of minutes for your attention. As your child grows, you can lengthen the amount of time you make them wait before you respond to their interruption.

Ignoring You When You’re Talking to Them

It’s more than annoying when you know your child hears you but is pretending that they can’t. It can become a problem because your child may start tuning you out all the time. If they know you’ll keep reminding them over and over, they’ll have little incentive to listen the first time you speak. It’s a child’s way of taking back a little bit of power, and, if left unchecked, could lead to your little one becoming increasingly defiant. So it’s important that your child learns to listen the first time you give instructions. 

When you’re ready to give a direction, walk over to your child. Place your hand on their shoulder, and tell them what they need to do. Have them look at you, and respond affirmatively. If they don’t do what you’ve asked, follow through with a consequence. Eventually, they’ll realize that selective hearing doesn’t work.

Playing too rough

You know that you have to step in when your child punches a playmate, but you shouldn’t disregard more subtle aggressive acts, like shoving their brother or pinching a friend. “If you don’t intervene, rough behaviour can become an entrenched habit by age eight. Confront aggressive behaviour on the spot. Pull your child aside and tell them, “That hurt Janey. How would it feel if she did that to you?” Let them know that any action that hurts another person is not allowed. If they act out again, end the playdate and/or impose a consequence for their behaviour.

Little Attitude

You may not think your child is going to roll their eyes or use a snippy tone until they are a preteen, but sassy behaviour often starts when preschoolers mimic older kids. This is done to test their parents’ reactions. “Some parents ignore it because they think it’s a passing phase, but if you don’t confront it, you may find yourself with a disrespectful third-grader who has a hard time making and keeping friends,” Dr. says.

Make your child aware of their behaviour. Tell them, for example, “When you roll your eyes like that, it seems as if you don’t like what I’m saying.” The idea isn’t to make your child feel bad but to show them how they look or sound. If the behaviour continues, you can refuse to interact and walk away.

Not Telling The Truth

Every kid loves fantasizing and making up wonderful stories. Fairy tales are crucial for their imagination and help their thinking broaden. Many children have an imaginary friend at some point. Many kids tell their parents they’ve eaten or tell their teachers surreal stories about their holiday.

However, never ignore or tolerate lying. Specialists say that lying can become an automatic process easily, which means that in the future when a child wants something or tries to avoid an unpleasant activity, they might exaggerate the truth in order to “break free.” Make sure that you talk to your little one and explore more about the motives behind them hiding the truth. Teach kids they should take responsibility for their words and show them that other people might be hurt when they don’t hear the truth.